We’ve all heard the horrible stories of young video gamers going off the deep end and hurting people with guns, knives and other forms of violence. However, this story is a bit different. This is the story of the TACO ASSAILANT.
Intrepid and indispensible local news resource WOFL-TV of Orlando reports that alleged Xbox Taco Assailant Zachary Moir is in the Volusia County Jail after a domestic disturbance on Wednesday night. Seems his moms went upstairs and demanded he stop playing that Sega or Atari or whatever you call it and come down and be a contributing member of the family, and he was all, “whatever, bitch,” and she was all “WHAT did you just call me,” and punched off the power to his console. Oh it’s on now!
“A few minutes later Dena says she was in the kitchen cleaning and cooking tacos for dinner when Zachary showed up. That’s when she says he slapped her arm and threw a taco in her face. “He went ahead and hit me with the taco and I got taco all over my shirt and kitchen. I’ve threatened to call police before. But anyway this time, I thought he went too far so I called police and he’s in jail now.”
On top of that, Mom won’t take jailhouse phone calls from her alleged Xbox taco assailant son. That’ll show your ass, tough guy! “She says she’s going to let him sit in his jail cell in Volusia County for a few days to teach him a lesson,” according to crusading truth avenger WOFL-TV.